Feelings Expressed
by l-a-c-18
Summary: Lucas hasn't seen or talked to Brooke in two months. He's giving her space while in California. He decides to write her a letter telling her how he feels. Brooke receives his letter and goes home to see him. Part 4 now up.Please RR. COMPLETE!
1. part I

_Brooke,_

_How are you? I hope the answer to that question is your doing_

_good...Okay, I know this opening sucks and I'm sorry. It's just that_

_I've never done this before. I've never sat and actually wanted to_

_write down my feelings. I guess what I am trying to say is that I'm_

_going crazy over here Brooke. I never thought I could miss someone_

_as much as I miss you. When you left I knew it was going to be hard_

_not seeing you everyday, not hearing you laugh, not being able to_

_just be around you, but I never thought it was going to be like_

_this. I thought the three months you would be gone would fly by and_

_you'd be back in no time, but these two months have been hell. Maybe_

_they wouldn't have been so bad if we had at least talked on the_

_phone. I went from talking to you everyday to not talking to you for_

_months. It's hard. Now I'm not trying to make you feel bad for not_

_calling me. I know you need this time to think. I dropped a pretty_

_huge bombshell on you before you left. I wouldn't expect anything_

_other than this, but knowing all that doesn't make it any easier. It_

_doesn't make me stop running to the phone every time it rings hoping_

_it's you. I don't know, maybe I shouldn't have said anything to you_

_at all. I wasn't planning to that last day, but when I had you in my_

_arms I couldn't stop myself. I knew I wasn't going to see you for a_

_while and all the feelings I had for you rushed to the surface and I_

_went for it. I needed you to know how I felt before you left so I_

_kissed you. For those few seconds our lips touched I felt something_

_strong and at the time I wasn't sure what it was because I had never_

_felt it before, but I know what it was now. What I felt was_

_complete. I know it may sound corney, but that's what I felt. The_

_only thing I regret about what I did was that I didn't do it sooner._

_I should have told you how I felt the day before when we were_

_talking in my room. To be honest I was going to. I needed to talk to_

_you about the stuff of Peyton's that you found. I couldn't leave it_

_with you thinking I wanted to be with her. I was going to explain_

_everything to you, but then you said you were relieved and I got_

_discouraged. You said you only wanted to be friends and I chickened_

_out. I wish now that I hadn't because then maybe we would have been_

_able to talk about everything. I know your scared Brooke, but I'm_

_scared too. I have never felt this way about anyone before. I'll be_

_honest and say that I thought I loved Peyton, but I know now that I_

_didn't. What I felt for her back then is nothing compared to what I_

_feel for you right now. I just wish it wouldn't have taken me this_

_long to realize what had always been staring me in the face. I_

_thought I had chosen the wrong person when I chose you, but in_

_actuality my subconscious had chosen right. I was just too stupid to_

_see that. I can never apologize to you enough for what I did to you._

_I know I hurt you beyond belief and I will hate myself for it_

_forever. I made a mistake that I can never take back and that_

_mistake might now cost me everything, my future, my happiness, our_

_happiness. Because of what I did to you, you may never be able to_

_trust me again and that is also something I am going to have to live_

_with. Even after saying all that it doesn't change the fact that I_

_want to be with you. It doesn't change the fact that I do want you_

_to be able to trust me again. I know that there isn't any one thing_

_I can say or do to make that happen. It's something you have to do_

_in your own time. I can say that I would take everything back if I_

_could, but I'm not sure I would. I know that I wouldn't want you to_

_be as hurt as you were before, but everything that happened with us_

_then led me to where I am now. It made me realize that I was so_

_stupid for what I did. It also made me realize that even if I didn't_

_know or see it then, I was really only happy when I was with you. I_

_don't remember ever smiling and laughing the way I did when I was_

_with you after we broke up. If us going through all that pain back_

_then led us to where we were sure we're it for each other, doesn't_

_it make it worth it? It was for me. Even if you can never find it in_

_your heart to trust me again I am still going to be grateful to you_

_for helping me realize what love is. I am not going to put you on_

_the spot again and ask you to be with me, even if that's what I want_

_more than anything. I am willing to be friends if that is what you_

_want. I can't not have you in my life Brooke. I don't think I could_

_take that, not again. You mean too much to me. I am willing to take_

_what I can get if it insures you in my life. I should let you go_

_now. I wasn't planning on this letter being this long. I guess I_

_just had a lot to say to you. I don't want you to get this letter_

_and think that you have to contact me. I want you to take this time_

_for yourself. I just wanted you to know that I was thinking about_

_you. I love you Brooke. If you never believe a thing I say, please_

_just believe that. I do love you Brooke and I'll never stop. I just_

_wish I had realized it sooner, then maybe we could both be happy. I_

_can't wait to see you again. One more month. Tree Hill isn't Tree_

_Hill without Brooke Davis._

_Love,_

_Lucas_

_P.S. You once told me that people that are meant to be together_

_always find their way in the end. Please tell me you still believe_

_that._

* * *

Well there you go. There is my Brucas submission. This is the first challenge I've done and I'm pretty happy with it. I'm sorry if its hard to read I wanted to separate it into paragraphs, but I couldn't find the right places to cut in. I wanted to thank Jess and Mal for their help in making sure the end quote was accurate. Please let me know what you think. Thanks. 


	2. Authors note

Hey everyone,

I have gotten a couple of reviews and a lot more personal e-mails wanting me to continue this. They want to know Brooke's reaction to Lucas' letter. I have been thinking a lot about this and so do I. I am taking a little time off my story Secrets Kept to finish writing this. It all started as a challenge, but now I'm making it into a mini story. It will be four parts in all. Let me know if anymore of you like this idea. If so I will post the second part as soon as possible. Please let me know what you think. Thanks.


	3. part II

**Chapter Two**

Lucas looked over the letter. He had already read it about ten times. He had written everything he wanted to say to her in it. As much as he was happy to have written everything out, he really wished that he had the chance to say everything to her face to face so she would know he was serious, but that wasn't possible. He was here in Tree Hill and Brooke was in California for at least another month.

Lucas thought about waiting until she came back to tell her anything, but he quickly changed his mind. He didn't want Brooke to think he had changed his mind and no longer wanted to be with her. He knew Brooke and that was probably exactly what she was thinking since they hadn't spoken in over two months and he couldn't risk that. He knew her insecurities would take over and he hated that. He hated that he was the one who made her become so insecure. Everything he had done that hurt her in the past, made her the person she was today, the scared girl that wouldn't open herself up. He couldn't blame her though. What he had done to her was bad and it didn't help that it was with her best friend, another person she trusted, the **one **person she trusted the most.

Some people would think that what Lucas had done was completely unforgivable and he was one of those people, but somehow Brooke had found it in her heart to forgive him. Somehow she was able to believe that he was truly sorry and give him another chance at friendship. Although he was very happy with them being friends he couldn't help but wonder if somehow Brooke could maybe find it in herself to give him another chance at more than just friendship.

Before Brooke left for California she told him that she was glad he was into Peyton because she just wanted to be friends. Lucas hoped with everything that that was a lie and that she loved and wanted to be with him as much as he loved and wanted to be with her. Lucas wasn't sure though, in the back of his mind he feared that by telling her how he felt he had now lost their new friendship. If Brooke didn't love him or want to be with him and really only wanted to be friends there would be no way that she would want to be around him knowing he loved her. Maybe telling Brooke his feelings had all been a mistake. Maybe he should have just kept it to himself.

Lucas looked down at the letter still in his hands.He turned in his chair to the trashcan. He should just throw this in the trash before he made matters worse by wanting too much.

Lucas got up and walked over to the trashcan and stood in front of it. He looked from the letter to the trashcan several times. If he threw the letter away would he just be making another mistake?

_**Flashback**_

_Brooke threw open Lucas' bedroom door and walked."Hey Broody, whatcha reading?"she asked as she plopped herself down next to him on the bed._

_Lucas adjusted himself so he he was now sitting with his back against the headboard. He held up the book for her to read._

_"Human Bondage. Your still reading that book? I would have thought you'd be done by now."_

_Lucas rolled his eyes at her."Brooke we just went and got it the other day. There's no way I'd already be done with it."he shook his head at her absurdity._

_"Well I guess I just thought you were a fast reader. I guess I was wrong."said Brooke with a smile. She looked around the room. She loved this room. It felt so homey._

_"You know, normally I am a fast reader, but lately I've been distracted. You see I have this girlfriend who has been taking up a lot of my time."_

_"Really?"asked Brooke playing along."Tell me about this girlfriend of yours. Is she hot?"_

_Lucas looked up at her." Definitely."Brooke smiled."She is gorgeous and she has the most beautiful smile I have ever seen."Brooke's smile widened. She loved hearing what Lucas thought about her."And she has the most amazing green eyes. I'm pretty lucky to be with her. I love spending time with her so my reading has been slacking, but I don't mind."_

_"Well that's good. You know, this girlfriend of yours sounds pretty amazing. I'm surprised she isn't here right now distracting you."Brooke took the book from Lucas' hands and tossed it onto the table next to his bed. She inched her way up to him and now sat straddling his hips. Lucas placed his hands on her lower back, bringing her further into him."I guess I'll just have to fill in for her today."said Brooke as she leaned into Lucas and captured his lips with hers._

_After a minute Lucas broke the kiss and looked up at her."I don't know, she has some pretty big shoes to fill."_

_Brooke smiled down at him."I think I can handle it."_

_"I know you can."Lucas leaned his head forward and gave Brooke a quick kiss before he got up and flipped them both around. He was now on top with Brooke's back on the bed. Lucas leaned down and kissed her. His tongue traced her bottom lip begging for entrance._

_Brooke slowly opened her mouth and allowed Lucas to enter. Their tongues began to caress each others. Brooke wrapped her arms around Lucas' neck bringing him closer to her. She moaned as he pressed himself into her. At that moment she wished with everything that they weren't fully clothed._

_Brooke unwrapped her arms from Lucas' neck and trailed her hands down his back and pushed his lower body further into hers. She loved the feel of Lucas pressed against her._

_Lucas quickly broke their kiss and removed his hand from under her shirt. During their make out his hand had found his new favorite spot under her shirt."Brooke stop."she looked up at him and feigned ignorance."You know exactly what I'm talking about. I know what your doing, but we can't."Brooke's bottom lip jutted out and she pouted. She looked cute."It's not that I don't want to because believe me I do, it's just that Keith is in the living room, so we can't."_

_Brooke nodded in understanding."Okay. I'm a little disappointed, but I understand. We wouldn't want uncle Keith to walk in and get a free show, now would we?"_

_Lucas shook his head."No, we wouldn't. That definitely wouldn't be a good thing. So what are we gonna do instead?"_

_"Nothing."_

_"Nothing?"_

_"Yeah, here."Brooke picked up his book that she placed on his side table and handed it to Lucas."You read. I hear you've been distracted lately."she pushed Lucas off of her._

_"Okay, well, while I'm reading what are you going to do?"asked Lucas positioning himself until he was comfortable._

_"Nothing."said Brooke placing her head on his chest and her arm around his waist."I'm just going to lie here and rest, if that's okay with you?"_

_Lucas wrapped his arm around her."It's better then okay."Lucas used his free hand to find his place in the book and he began to read._

_"I love this."_

_Lucas rolled his eyes. He knew there was no way Brooke was going to lie down and do nothing while he read. He knew she would get bored within minutes."You love what?"_

_"This. I love being here with you and not having to do anything. I know you don't expect things from me and it's nice. I love that I have fun with you even when we're not doing anything. I just love being here with you."she wrapped her arm around his waist tighter and let out a sigh. She was happy. For the first time in her life she was with someone who made her truly happy._

_Lucas looked down at her."Me too. I love having you here in my arms."he leaned down and kissed the top of her head before going back to his book. Brooke then closed her eyes._

_**End of Flashback**_

Lucas had not thought about that night in a long time. It was all the little things that he loved about when they were together.That night they ended up staying that way, with their arms around each other for hours. Brooke had fallen asleep and he had continued to read. He loved having her in his arm and he now missed that more then ever.

Lucas once again looked at the letter he held in his hands and then to the trashcan. Yes, throwing it away would definitely be a mistake. He already hated the fact that he chickened out on telling Brooke how he felt the night before she left. He knew he'd end up hating himself if he threw this letter away and yet again chickened out. If this letter could bring him more times like the one he just remembered, then he had to give it to Brooke and take that chance. He was willing to do anything if it meant he had a possibility of having her in his arms like that again.

Lucas walked back to his desk with his mind made up. He was sending Brooke this letter. He was willing to risk everything for the possibility of being with her again. He sat down and chose a pink envelope of his mothers to put it in. Brooke loved the color pink and he knew it would catch her eye. Lucas folded the letter and placed it inside the envelope and sealed . After addressing the envelope with the address he had gotten from Peyton, he got up and grabbed his keys. Lucas headed out the door and to the post office. Everything was riding on this letter and the quicker he mailed it, the quicker Brooke got it and then she would at least know he still loved her.

_

* * *

_

_Here is the latest chapter of this four part story. I hope you enjoyed it. Thank you all for wanting to read more of this story. Hearing everything you all had to say is what made me want to write more for this. I was going to have this chapter be of Brooke getting the letter but I thought knowing what Lucas was feeling about the letter was also important. Please let me know what you think. Please read and review. Thanks._

**Coming Up:**

Brooke receives the letter.


	4. part III

**Chapter Three**

Brooke walked into her house and threw her keys on the counter. She'd spent the day shopping, something she found herself doing more and more as her time progressed in California. There really wasn't anything else to do there. Sure there had been parties and stuff, but she found herself skipping them. Brooke had made a couple of friends who loved to party and had tried over and over again to get her to go, but each time she turned them down, opting for a late night movie alone. She just couldn't see herself having fun at a party without Peyton by her side.

Brooke had hoped that coming to California would help her reconnect with her parents, but that hadn't happened. Her parents stuck around for the first two days, but then they had to go away on some business trip. Two months later the business trip was still going on. She didn't understand why her parents would order her to come there if they were just going to leave her alone as they always had. She guessed it was so that they would at least look like good parents to the outside world.

_What a joke that was._

A week after Brooke's parents left and it looked to her as if they weren't coming home, she thought about just going back to Tree Hill without letting her parents know. She even got as far as packing her bags, but then changed her mind. As much as she missed Tree Hill and everybody there, she couldn't go home. She couldn't go and face Lucas yet. Not when she didn't know what to say to him. She still didn't know what to do about everything. She wasn't ready for all of that drama.

The day she left Lucas told her that he wanted to be with her and that he realized that everything he did from cheating on her to breaking up with her had been a mistake. He opened himself up and expressed his feelings to her and she just left.

It wasn't that she didn't care about what he had to say or that she left him standing there to somehow hurt him the way he had hurt her, it was that she honestly didn't know what else to do. That was the last thing she thought he would say to her right as she was about to leave.

Before Brooke left Tree Hill she had spent a lot of time with Lucas just having fun, no strings attached. She'd forgotten how much she loved spending time with him. He never had any expectations about her other than her being herself, therefore she found herself doing just that and that's what was so great about him and them. She was always comfortable around him, they were comfortable around each other. It reminded her of why she fell in love with him in the first place. It reminded her of how she felt before she found out about him and Peyton. She had been happy, happy that she had found someone she wanted that wanted her back and not just for the sex.

The more time Brooke spent with Lucas, the more she felt herself falling back in love with him. She knew she shouldn't, but she couldn't help it. It was something that just happened.

Brooke figured she'd fallen for him so easily because she had never really gotten over him. Having feelings for Lucas and still being around him was hard, but it was bearable because they wouldn't be spoken of or acted on. There was no way she could go down that road again, not that she'd ever get the chance, her feelings weren't reciprocated. They were one sided, just as they had been the first time. It was even confirmed when she found his Peyton box, a box filled with all their memories. Lucas apparently never got over her.

That was what Brooke thought up until the day she left. Until Lucas told her that she was the one he wanted to be with. He told her everything she wanted to hear, everything she hoped to have heard all those months ago. Lucas Scott wanted her and only her, with no one else in his heart.

Brooke didn't know what to feel. She was happy and sad. Happy because this was what she wanted to hear him say, but also sad because what if he again changed his mind? She had all these questions and she didn't know what to do. This was honestly the last thing she thought she would hear Lucas say right as she was about to leave for three months.

She wanted so much to tell him that she wanted to be with him too, but she couldn't. _How could she be with someone who cheated on her with her best friend? How could she be with someone who could hurt her so much?_ Those were just a couple of the questions going through her mind. She knew she had forgiven Lucas for all of those things, but only enough to be his friend. There was no way she thought she'd ever be able to trust him with her heart again. There was no way she was willing to let herself get hurt like that again, so she left. She told him bye and walked out the door.

Walking out the door and away from Lucas had been the hardest thing Brooke had done. She loved him, but it felt like the right and only thing to do. She figured with time in California she'd be okay. So she unpacked all her stuff and stayed. Some people would probably call her a coward and a chicken for staying, but she just called herself safe. She was safe from getting hurt again and that's exactly what she wanted.

As her time past in California Brooke began to realize she had been wrong. Walking away from Lucas that day was the wrong thing to do. It was the biggest mistake she had ever made. She wished with everything that she could go back to that day because if she could, she would never have left. She would have stayed and told him that she wanted to be with him too.

It had taken Brooke a while to see it, but she finally had. Lucas loved her. He really loved her.

While in California Brooke had a lot of time to think, so she did just that, she thought. She thought about all the time she had spent with Lucas. She thought about everything he had done for her. He fixed her windshield for free, when he knew she didn't have any money. He helped her with her speech, which in turn helped her win. He fixed it to where she could stay in Tree Hill to finish out her junior year. That its self had been huge. She tried everything to get her parents to let her stay, but to no avail. Lucas being the great guy he is had accomplished something she couldn't. He and his mother had gotten her parents to change their minds and she was grateful for that.

She should have seen it then, but she hadn't. Lucas had done all of that because he loved her. Because he wasn't ready to lose her.

Yes, Lucas had hurt her and yes he had done something that she thought for a really long time was unforgivable, but somehow she _had_ forgiven him. He showed her that he was truly sorry and she found that she believed him.

Just because he hurt her before didn't mean he would do it again. People change. He changed. She changed.

Brooke was no longer the same person she had been back then. She was no longer that careless, heartless person who slept around without a care in the world other than when the next party was. She was now and independent, loving girl who was afraid to show anyone her heart. So if she could make such a drastic change in such a short time so could Lucas.

Lucas was human just like everybody else. He made mistakes, she made mistakes. Brooke knew she'd hate for people to define her by her past mistakes, so she shouldn't define Lucas by his.

The more she thought about Lucas and the things he had done to show he loved her, the more she realized she loved him too and the more she realized that she _could_ trust him again. _She loved him, he loved her, what was the problem? Why were they still not together?_

The problem was that she was in California and now too much time had past. They still weren't together because she realized she could trust him again too late.

Brooke wanted to go to Lucas and throw her arms around him and tell him she wanted to be with him the day she realized she _could_ trust him, but she didn't. Her insecurities took over as they always did lately. She had been in California for a little over a month before her revelation and that was a lot of time. _What if he changed him mind about her? What if he met someone else while she was here? What if he no longer wanted to be with her? What if she told him that she loved him, but he told her he no longer felt the same way?_ She would be devastated and humiliated if that happened. She couldn't risk that so she stayed in California by herself knowing that she loved him.

There was only one more month before she would be going back home. Then she'd see him again, then they'd be able to figure everything out without her having to feel vulnerable.

Brooke walked into the kitchen and was greeted by their new maid.

"Hola Ms. Davis."

:Hello Mrs. Martinez. How are you today? Is your daughter feeling better?"Brooke liked their maid. They spent quite a bit of time talking since Brooke spent most of her time at home.

"I'm good, gracias. Isabel is doing much better too. I think it was just a, what do you call it, stomach bug. How you doing?"

"Good. I just spent a ton of daddy's money, so that's a plus. Which reminds me, did I get any mail today?"she asked rolling her eyes. Her mother had called a few days ago and told her that her and her father were having a wonderful time and they had sent pictures. Brooke wasn't in any rush to see them, but a little part of her wanted to see if they had also sent her a letter, something saying they loved and missed her.

"Si."Mrs. Martinez walked over to the wall and pulled out the letters from Brooke's mailbox and handed them to her.

"Thank you. Now lets see what mommy and daddy dearest have been bragging about."she flipped through some junk mail, but stopped when she reached a pink envelop. She felt as if her heart stopped the second she saw Lucas' name.

This was from Lucas. He had written her a letter. She had never been more excited about anything. She hadn't spoken to him in two months and it was killing her.

"I'll be right back."said Brooke as she set the rest of her mail down and walked out of the kitchen, never taking her eyes off the letter. She thought that if she did it might disappear. She quickly made her way to her room and sat down on the bed still staring at the pink letter.

Brooke wanted so desperately to tear open the letter and read it, but she was scared. _What if it was bad news? What if it was to tell her he no longer felt the same way he had? _She now knew she wanted to be with him so if that was what it said it was going to kill her.

She quickly got up from the bed and walked over to her dresser. She opened the drawer and placed the letter inside closing it afterward. That was it. She wasn't going to read it. There was too much of a possibility that she was only going to get hurt again and she couldn't handle that, so she just wasn't going to read it.

Brooke walked away from the dresser and made her way to her door and walked out. She made it half way down the hall before she turned around and ran back to her room._ Like she could really not read something this important._ What ever was in that envelop she wanted to know. Good or bad, she needed to know.

Brooke threw open her drawer and snatched the letter out. She made her way back to the bed and sat down. She held the letter in her hand for a minute and just looked at it before tearing it open.

She couldn't help but laugh at the first part. It was obvious that Lucas didn't write very many letters. As she continued to read the letter her laughter stopped and was replaced by tears. The more she read the more she found herself crying. Once she was finished she closed her eyes and place the letter to her heart and just cried.

The letter was so sad, but at the same time it was the best thing she had ever read. Lucas was expressing his feelings for her for the second time. He had done it the first time and had basically gotten rejected, but here he was again, opening up to her, not worrying about her not feeling the same. He just wanted her to know he cared and loved her, no matter how corney he sounded. That in its self made her sad. He was willing to risk rejection for the second time, when she wasn't even willing to risk it once. She stayed in California because she was worried that maybe he had changed his mind. He was willing to put himself out there, but she hadn't been. She was still in California worrying about something that wasn't even the case.

Lucas hadn't changed his mind. He still wanted to be with her and he had even told her that he loved her. He was being so brave and she was in fact the biggest coward out there.

Lucas expressed his feelings and was open with her. His words were so beautiful, but what had really gotten to her was his P.S. He had remembered what she said to him that night, she hadn't even remembered that, but he had. It showed her that even though she thought all their time together had been a lie and meant nothing to him, it wasn't and it did. He did care about her back then and he even remembered the little things she had said. He really was an amazing guy and she loved him so much.

Brooke was still in California because she was afraid he had changed his mind, but this letter showed her that he hadn't, so there was no more reason for her to stay there and hide. It was now time to go back home and trust. Time to trust him and time to trust herself. It was time to go back and be happy. Happy was something she never thought she would be again, but now she knew she would. Now happiness was within her reach, all she had to do was go home and grab it and that was exactly what she was going to do.

_Go Home._

* * *

Well there you go, the third part of this story. I just want to say that I am really sorry for the delay in this chapter. My computer is not working right now. I'm surprised it even let me on right now. The last time I typed this chapter I was almost done and it froze. I hadn't even saved it yet. So once it got erased I didn't feel like typing it up again especially since what I type is not what I have written down. I change it a lot. Well anyways enough with the explanation. I am sorry it took me so long to update. There is only one more part left. I hoped you liked this chapter. Please tell me what you think. Read and review. Thanks. 

**Coming Up:**

Brooke goes home and sees Lucas for the first time in two months.


	5. part IV

_Here is the last chapter in this four part story. I am sorry it took me so long to update. I had some major computer problems. I thought that the computer fixers would be able to fix it in a day, but it ended up taking them about a week. I just got my computer back yesterday afternoon and wanted to give you all an update so here it is. The last chapter. I hope you enjoy and again I am sorry for its delay. Thanks._

**Chapter Four**

Lucas walked into the living room and set his glass down before he took a seat in front on the television.

The house was quiet. His mother was still in New Zealand with Andy, so it was only him in the house. Sure the house wasn't big in any way, but when you only have one person there day in and day out it seemed to only get bigger. It also began to get lonely. There really wasn't anyone to talk to. Sure there was Haley, but right now she was dealing with all the Nathan stuff and he didn't want to bother her with his stuff. The same went for Peyton. She was going through losing Jake and he didn't want to burden her with his problems. He used to be able to just walk into a room and have his mother there, but not anymore. Which was hard because he could really use her right now. They used to be able to talk about everything.

There wasn't a day that went by that Lucas didn't wish Brooke was there with him. It would just be the two of them without any interruptions. He would sit and think about what they could do, but really what they would talk about because as much fun as it was to make out with her, he loved just talking with her more. Once he moved back home they would constantly sit in the living room and just talk. Talk for hours about everything and nothing at all. Those were the times he remembered the most. One of the best times he had with her was before they even got together. It was the night Peyton had gotten drugged at a party. That night they stayed up all night and just talked. That night he got to find out what a big heart Brooke had and what an amazing person she was. That night changed everything.

Every time Lucas thought about that night and how it changed everything he found himself thinking about another time that changed everything. The day he went with Peyton to find her dad. That day he and Peyton crossed a line that never should have been crossed. They both thought they were in love with each other, but they were wrong, they weren't. It was all a mistake. If it had been love they felt for each other it would have been hard to give each other up after Brooke found out, but it hadn't been. That's when he knew Peyton wasn't it for him. At the time he didn't know what was, but now he did. It was Brooke.

Lucas knew he loved Brooke because all this time being apart from her was driving him crazy. He missed her like he had never missed anyone before. It was pretty funny how the old sayings were always true. _You never know what you have until it's gone._ He had Brooke. Brooke was his girlfriend, but he didn't value her like he should have. Yes, he cared about her a lot, but not enough. He hadn't appreciated what they had and now he was paying the price for that. Now that they weren't together he realized just how special being with her made him feel. When they were together she was all about being with him and not just for the sex, she was always talking about how she wanted to know everything about him. She wanted a deeper connection that sex couldn't give them. He only wished that he wanted that too back then, but you can't change the past.

Lucas still to this day regretted the way he acted toward Brooke. Yes, he cared about her, but to him the relationship had been more about the physical aspects then the feelings. His feelings at the time still belonged to Peyton.

Now that he had wised up and finally saw what was always in front of him it was too late and he had already lost her, probably for good, but he still knew what they had together was special. He just hoped that he'd get the chance to prove to her that he knew that. He knew she was special.

One more month and then Brooke would be coming home and hopefully everything would work out for them and they could both be happy. Lucas hoped that their happiness would be together, but if it wasn't he just wanted to know that she was in fact happy. That would be enough for him.

* * *

Brooke sat in her seat on the plane. He mind was racing. They were about to land in Tree Hill and she still had no clue on what she was going to say to Lucas. 

She thought about just walking into the house and throwing her arms around him and kissing him, but she just could see herself doing that. That was something the old Brooke would do and she was no longer that person. She knew that before anything happened with her and Lucas they needed to talk. The kissing would have to wait even though she wanted more than anything for him to kiss her again. She missed his lips pressed against hers, but still that would have to wait. There was too much at stake to move too quickly. The first time they were together it had basically just been physical and she didn't want that this time. Brooke wanted their relationship to be real, if there was even going to be a relationship, that was what the talk was going to be about. She knew she wanted to be with Lucas and that he wanted to be with her and that they loved each other, but was that going to be enough?

Brooke closed her eyes and leaned back in her seat. She couldn't wait to see Lucas again. She missed him so much more then she ever thought she would. She couldn't wait to be in his arms again. That was the one place she longed to be. When Lucas had his arms around her she always felt like everything was going to work out and that's exactly what she needed right now, to feel like everything would work out.

Brooke took the letter out of her purse, unfolded it and read it again. She couldn't stop reading it. Any time she had a doubt about going home to Lucas and she had about a million on the flight alone, she'd open Lucas' letter and read it. The letter had become like Lucas arms around her, it made her feel as if everything was going to work out. Everything Lucas wrote was so heartfelt and honest. How could she not go to him after reading it. Everything she had ever hoped for him to say he finally had and it was beautiful. She felt the exact way she knew she would, happy and content.

There was nothing left to do, but go to Lucas and tell him she felt the same way. She loved him too. They needed to make things work this time. This time they were both in it one hundred percent and nothing was going to stand in their way.

* * *

Brooke pulled up to the house and paid the cab driver. She grabbed her bag and started up the path passing her light blue VW Bug. Her hand lightly grazed its side. She hadn't seen her car in months. She wondered if Lucas had driven her car this summer. She told him before she left that he could as long as he took care of her baby, as she called it. He promised he would so she left him the keys. 

Brooke shook all the random thoughts about Lucas an her car from her head and finished her way up to the door. She thought about just walking in, but decided against it. Yes, she had stayed there and was going to stay there again, but she'd been gone for two months, she couldn't just barge in there.

Brooke raised her hand and took a deep breath before gently knocking on the door. This was it, there was no turning back now.

* * *

Lucas continued to flip through the channels. There was nothing on. He settled on watching ESPN. Luckily they were replaying a game he missed earlier. He had finally settled into the couch when he heard a knock at the door. He cursed who ever it was for making him get up. Lucas slowly got up and made his way to the door and opened it. His eyes widened when he saw who stood before him. 

Brooke. It was Brooke. She was here. In Tree Hill. No, he had to be dreaming she was supposed to still be in California for another month.

Lucas stood in the doorway for a minute and just looked at her before he found his voice."Brooke. What are you doing here?"

Brooke smiled at him."Can I come in?"

"Oh right, sorry."Lucas pushed the door open and motioned for her in."What are you doing back so soon? I didn't expect to see you until next month."

Brooke nodded."I know and I planned on staying in California until then, but then I got this."she held up his letter."I read it and had to come home. Did you mean it Lucas? What you wrote?"she looked him in the eyes and hoped with everything he would say yes.

Lucas stared back at her and knew that she desperately needed to hear his answer."Every word. I wouldn't have wrote it if I didn't mean it Brooke."

Brooke let out the breath she didn't even know she was holding."I was hoping you would say that. Lucas I don't really know what to say. I..."

"You don't have to say anything Brooke. I didn't write you to make you feel like you had to come home. I did it because one night I just couldn't stop thinking about you and I wanted you to know it. I just wanted you to know that I still cared."

Brooke closed her eyes and nodded as a few tears trickled down her cheek."You need to know that getting this letter meant a lot to me. I knew that you said you wanted to be with me before I left, but I didn't know everything else. I didn't know all of your feelings. I have never gotten a letter like this before Lucas. I have never gotten a letter that made me feel both happy and sad at the same time."

"I don't want you to be sad Brooke. That's the last thing I wanted to happen. I have caused you enough pain and I'm sorry."

"I know you are Lucas. I can honestly say that I believe you when you say that. I have wanted to hear everything you said in your letter for a long time and now to hear that you meant everything is pretty amazing."Brooke raised her hand and wiped away a few of her fallen tears.

"I have never meant anything more. I am very sorry for hurting you, but at the same time everything that happened with us made me realize that your the one I want to be with Brooke. Your the one that I love. I don't know, maybe I should just keep my mouth shut. Maybe this is the last thing you want to hear right now."said Lucas looking away.

"No, I want to hear this Lucas. I want to hear everything you have to say.I always have. I would have stayed in California if I didn't."

"Well I for one am happy you didn't stay there. I have missed you so much Brooke. There wasn't a day that went by that I didn't think about you."

"I missed you too Lucas. I thought about you constantly. I thought about the kiss and everything you said to me after it. There were a dozen times when all I wanted to do was come back home and just be with you."Brooke again wiped away her tears, but more fell.

"Then why didn't you?"Lucas knew he shouldn't ask her that, but he couldn't help it. H needed to know."I wanted more then anything for you to do just that."

"I was scared Lucas. I still am."Brooke convulsively sighed, but continued through her tears."The last time we were together it didn't end so well for me."she paused."I wasn't ready to just jump into something that could lead me back to that pain. I can't do that again Lucas. I don't think I could take it, not a second time."she closed her eyes and just let her tears fall. There was no use in trying to wipe them away now.

Lucas walked closer to Brooke and raised his hands to her face and used his thumbs to wipe away some of her tears. He hated seeing her cry and he knew he was the cause of all her hurt."That is the last thing I want to happen Brooke. I never want to hurt you again. There is a major difference this time. The last time we were together I didn't feel the way I do about you now. I knew I cared about you, but there was still somebody else."

Brooke closed her eyes and scoffed."Yeah, I know. Peyton, my best friend."

"Yeah, but not this time."Lucas lowered his his arms and placed his hands on both of her arms and just held them."This time it's only you Brooke. I love you. There is nobody else."

"How do I know that you aren't going to change your mind? You've done it before."

"Because this time I know what I'd be losing. Brooke you mean everything to me."

"You mean everything to me too Lucas and that's what scares me. You say that you love me and I believe you. The thing is, I love you too. More then I think I should. I never actually stopped loving you Lucas. Even after everything you did to me I still loved you. If you would have come to me back then and told me you made a mistake and wanted to be with me I would have taken you back. That's how pathetic I was. I don't want to become that person again Lucas. I don't want to feel that without you I am nothing."she continued to cry.

Lucas cupped her face in his hands."I don't want that either Brooke, but you need to know that you were never pathetic, just in love with a jerk who was too stupid to see how amazing you were, but I do now. Right now you are a strong and independent person who doesn't take crap from anyone and I want you to stay that way. I love the person you've become Brooke and your gonna stay that person. You didn't deserve what I did to you and again I am sorry for that. Look there are no guarantees Brooke. I don't know if things are going to work out for us this time. I know I want them to, but you never know what's going to happen, but what I do know is that I will never hurt you that way again. If you give me the chance to show you just how much you mean to me I promise I won't let you down, not again."

Brooke placed her hands on his which were still on her face and held them."I want that so much Lucas. I know that you love me and I love you and that we want to be together, but is that enough to make this work?"

Lucas nodded."It's more then enough to start off with. It's more then we had last time."Lucas removed his hands from her face and took her hands in his and held them."I don't want to force you into anything your not ready for. You know the way I feel about you, you know that I want to be with you. I am willing to wait as long as it takes for you. If right now all you want to do is be friends, then I'll take that. I will do anything to make you see that you can trust me again."

"I do trust you Lucas. I know that you would never hurt me like you did before. I got to know you a lot better the last couple of months before I left and I fell in love with you all over again. I realized that I did trust you again. Lucas I want to be with you more then you'll ever know. I want to give us another chance. I don't want to wait anymore. Just please don't hurt me again."

"I won't."Lucas pulled her to him and wrapped his arms around her tight."The last thing I want to do is hurt you Brooke. I love you too damn much to do that."

Brooke pulled away slightly."I love you too Lucas."

Lucas leaned his head down and slowly placed his lips on hers and kissed her. It was slow and gentle and full of love. He had never kissed anyone that way before and he never would again. He now had everything he could hope for. Brooke was back and they were going to be together again. This time it was going to work out.

Brooke pulled away from the kiss and placed her head on Lucas' chest and smiled. They were together again and in love. This was more then she ever thought possible for them. This was a turning point for her. She was no longer going to be that scared girl who wouldn't let anyone in in fear that they would just hurt her. She was opening her heart again and it felt good. She was right where she wanted to be, with the person she wanted to be with. In Lucas' arms everything looked like it was going to work out. They were together again and only good things were to come now that all their feelings had been expressed.

_**The End**_

_Thank you all for reading and reviewing my fourth story. I love each and every review I have gotten.This story all started because of a challenge posted at the writers group I belong to(I tied with cheerybroody for the win) and a lot of you wanted to know how Brooke would react to Lucas' letter so I turned the challenge into a mini story and I loved doing it. I loved writing this little story and I hope we all get our Brucas in S3. Well this was the last part in the story and I hope you all enjoyed it. Again I am sorry for the delay in the update, but it couldn't be helped. Please let me know one last time what you thought of this story. Please read and review. Thanks. _


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